3 weeks in

The beach by my house; I miss home.

The past 3 weeks of work have been a medley of classes based on body systems, and actual work in the ER. I have been learning so much and can see such a big difference now in comparison to how I was when I first started.

Yesterday was my first 'breakdown' day where I felt like I was completely overwhelmed, rushed by my nurse, and incompetent. In other words, I felt like I was failing miserably. I took long on my assessments and since we try to work with the system of "one patient at a time", the time factor is extremely valuable. I need to try harder, I need to work faster.

Last night was the first night in a while that I slept through the whole night. All month I've been having disturbed sleep because of stress, and I supposed this is my subconscious way of dealing with it until now. 

It was finally the end of my shift and she had one more thing to say to me. My nurse's words were like someone shaking me back to reality, reminding me about how well I've been doing so far; she told me that everyone has their 'bad day' sometimes and this was mine. She also told me that she has no worries about me in the end, that I'll get there for sure because I have the knowledge and the skills and I love what I am doing. 

Good, better, best; never let it rest till your good is better and your better is best. 

-Anonymous